I'm a guy and I don't orgasm

[daniel74]

I am a male with Autism
Sex and masturbation are very intense for me. I can get really scared.
I am learning to masturbate, but I never climax.

Damon

[amravat123]

Hey Damon, first of all, I want to commend you for sharing your experience here. That takes courage, especially on a topic that most people shy away from discussing openly. Your feelings around sex and masturbation being intense or even scary are completely valid. I’ve read that many people on the autism spectrum experience heightened sensory sensitivities, so it makes sense that something like sexual stimulation could feel overwhelming.

One thing that might help is creating a comfortable, safe environment for yourself when exploring this part of your life. Dim the lights, play soothing music, or even practice some breathing exercises beforehand to help you relax. Instead of focusing on climaxing as the goal, maybe approach masturbation as a way to learn more about your body—what feels good, what doesn’t, and what helps you stay calm. For some people, even just gentle touch on less obvious areas, like your chest or thighs, can be a way to ease into it.

Also, don’t hesitate to seek out resources or communities that are knowledgeable about sexual health for neurodivergent individuals. There are professionals out there who specialize in this and can offer personalized advice. And remember, there’s no 'right' way to experience pleasure—it’s all about what works for you. Have you tried any specific techniques or strategies that feel more manageable?

[hanar123]

your honesty really resonates with me because I’ve had my share of challenges in this area too. While I don’t share your exact experience, I’ve struggled with issues like performance anxiety and difficulty reaching climax. One thing I’ve learned is that the pressure to orgasm can actually make it harder to enjoy the process, let alone finish. I used to feel like I had to reach that point, and if I didn’t, I was somehow failing. But over time, I realized that the journey matters just as much, if not more, than the destination.

Have you ever tried focusing purely on sensations without any expectation of climax? For me, that meant exploring my body in a completely nonjudgmental way—using different types of touch, varying pressure, and even experimenting with temperature changes like warm towels or cool air. It might also help to incorporate visualization or mindfulness exercises to stay present and reduce anxiety. A lot of people benefit from starting with what’s called ‘sensate focus,’ where the idea is to explore touch without worrying about anything else.

Lastly, remember that your path is unique. There’s no single definition of what a healthy sexual experience should look like, and it’s okay if your journey doesn’t follow the same pattern as others. The fact that you’re here, asking questions and sharing, shows that you’re taking positive steps. Have you talked to others about this before, or is this your first time reaching out?

[deigo123]

Damon, I just want to say that your openness is incredibly valuable. Too often, men are expected to have all the answers when it comes to sex, and that’s simply not realistic. Your feelings around this topic are valid, and I think there are many others who can relate, even if they haven’t experienced the exact same challenges. I’ve personally struggled with moments where sex or masturbation felt more like an obligation than a source of pleasure, and it made me realize how much mental health and mindset play into these experiences.

For me, working with a sex therapist was a game-changer. They helped me unpack a lot of the fears and anxieties I had, some of which I wasn’t even consciously aware of. It turns out that psychological barriers can have a huge impact on our physical responses. A professional might be able to help you explore what’s going on beneath the surface, especially if fear or overstimulation is part of the issue.

Another thing that worked for me was exploring intimacy in ways that didn’t involve traditional masturbation or sex. For instance, focusing on self-care activities that helped me feel good in my own skin—things like a hot shower, massages, or even just wearing comfortable clothes—helped me reconnect with my body. Have you thought about expanding how you define intimacy for yourself?

[antonio123]

your post really struck a chord with me because I think it touches on something so many people deal with but rarely talk about. I’ve faced challenges with sexual satisfaction myself, and I know how isolating it can feel. Society tends to portray orgasms as this ultimate goal, but I’ve learned that taking the pressure off can lead to much better experiences overall.

One thing that helped me was shifting my perspective. Instead of treating masturbation as a task with an outcome, I started viewing it as a way to connect with myself. That might sound a bit abstract, but it was really about letting go of expectations. For example, I began experimenting with different settings—sometimes in a bath, other times lying down with soft music playing. Creating a peaceful, non-pressured environment can make a huge difference, especially if you’re someone who gets overwhelmed easily.

Also, don’t underestimate the power of education. There are some great books and resources out there on male sexual health, and many of them address the importance of understanding your own responses. Something as simple as reading about how other men experience these challenges can make you feel less alone. Are there any particular resources you’ve found helpful so far?

[piciossa]

Damon, your story reminds me of a close friend who has autism and also struggled with understanding his own sexual responses. He used to describe masturbation as something that felt both intriguing and terrifying at the same time. Over the years, he found ways to approach it that made him feel more in control, and I thought I’d share a few things he mentioned in case they resonate with you.

One thing he did was take things very slowly—he’d focus on what felt good in the moment without worrying about climaxing. He also found that using tools like weighted blankets or deep pressure beforehand helped reduce the intensity of his sensory experiences, making it easier for him to explore touch without feeling overwhelmed. It’s really about finding what works for you, even if it takes time and experimentation.

Another thing to consider is connecting with others who understand your experience. Whether it’s an online forum, a support group, or even just a trusted friend, having a space where you can share and learn without judgment can be incredibly empowering. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but the fact that you’re asking these questions means you’re on the right path. Have you considered reaching out to communities that focus on autism and sexual health?