How often is considered healthy/normal?

[aiden15632]

I’m a 32 year old healthy male. I’m in a fairly new relationship with a 23 year old female. I’m running into a problem where she wants sex more often then I seem to be capable of and I’m looking for some feedback from other people on what’s normal in their relationships.
To give people a better idea, here was our recent schedule.

Friday night, we had sex 2 times about 2 hours apart (tried a 3rd time but I went limp)

Saturday night we had sex twice (first time I didn’t cum and went limp, waited 10 minutes till I got erect again then went a 2nd time and I was able to cum)

Sunday night had sex one time

Then Monday, early morning she wanted sex again and I couldn’t for the life of me even begin to get an erection.

I’m feeling pretty inadequate as a man and would like to know how other people compare. She has stated that she wants me to have sex with her 10x a day. And I’m just not physically capable of it. Is there something wrong with me? Are most couples able to have sex EVERY day multiple times?

[piciossa]

Hey man, I think you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself here. From what you described, it sounds like you’re putting in solid effort, and there's nothing “inadequate” about needing a break or not being able to go on demand. I’m 35, and I’ve been in similar situations with a younger partner who had a higher drive. Honestly, communication was the biggest help for us—just letting her know when I needed a breather. Most people aren’t capable of having sex multiple times a day every day, especially if you’re actually enjoying the sessions you’re having instead of just going through the motions.

There’s also something about those early stages of a relationship that amps up both the pressure and the expectations. Everyone wants to impress and meet their partner’s desires, but at the same time, it's important to acknowledge what’s physically possible for each of you. It’s totally normal to feel challenged at first when you’re adjusting to each other’s rhythms. Just know that you’re not alone in this, and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or your relationship.

I’d suggest sitting down and talking with her openly about it. Maybe she doesn’t realize how much pressure that kind of request can put on someone. Even suggesting some ways to keep things spicy in other ways (without full intercourse) could help her understand. For a lot of couples, intimacy can take many forms, and that variety might actually be more fulfilling for both of you long-term.

Remember, you’re doing fine, and it’s okay to say “Hey, I need a little rest.” Relationships are all about finding that balance, and she might be more understanding than you think!

[amravat123]

Dude, you’re definitely not alone. I’m a bit older—42—and I’ve had my fair share of relationships with partners who had a different drive than I did. I think a lot of men have been in your shoes, feeling like they should be able to meet their partner’s sexual expectations every time. But here’s the reality: it’s totally normal for your body to need a break, especially after a few days in a row! Physical limitations are real, and there's nothing abnormal about that.

For some people, the early relationship phase can feel like a performance test, but remember, it's not a contest. Even physically fit guys may have limits; hormones, mental state, and sheer physical fatigue all play into this. I actually read somewhere that the “normal” amount varies so much between couples. Some go several times a week, while others are once a day or even less, and both can be completely healthy.

A relationship isn’t just about how often you’re getting it on, but the connection that’s being built. Maybe there are other ways you two can connect when you’re not in the mood, or she’s looking for more. Talk it out with her, maybe laugh about it, and remind her that what matters most is you two feeling close and in sync.

At the end of the day, don’t beat yourself up for not being a machine. Just communicate where you’re at and find what works best for both of you. I promise, that open approach is going to be way more satisfying for you both.

[hanar123]

I can relate to this, especially when I was dating someone quite a bit younger than me. I felt that same pressure and wondered if I was doing enough to keep up. You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way. Everyone’s stamina is different, and being with someone who has a high drive doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you if you need a bit more downtime between sessions.

Also, don't let it shake your confidence. The fact that you’re able to be intimate multiple times over the weekend is already a lot more than many people out there can do! The 10x a day thing sounds pretty unrealistic for most people, and I think she’ll understand if you tell her that. Sometimes, having an honest conversation about where you’re both at can really help with alignment in the relationship.

One thing I’ve found helpful is focusing on other ways to keep the intimacy high when I'm not up for full-on action. Things like giving her a massage, or finding fun, sensual activities that don’t always lead to sex, can be just as satisfying. It also builds anticipation, which could make your next time together even more enjoyable.

Overall, give yourself a break and remind yourself that quality is more important than quantity. Most people aren’t capable of going at that level constantly, and that’s totally okay.

[deigo123]

Let me just say, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with needing a break! You’re already doing more than many guys would be able to handle, and I think that’s something to recognize. The fact that she wants you that often is a compliment, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep up with her every single time. I've been through something similar, and it helped when I accepted that every person’s libido is different.

As we get older, our bodies naturally have different rhythms. Sometimes our partners don’t realize that, and it takes a bit of communication to find a rhythm that works for both people. A lot of times, the desire for constant sex is more about connection, so maybe there’s a way to meet her needs through things other than sex every single time. Sometimes, just spending quality time together or doing something intimate but not sexual can be a good balance.

Don’t let this get to you mentally. The worst thing you can do is beat yourself up because that can actually affect your confidence in bed, which can then make it harder to keep up. Let her know where you’re coming from, and I bet you two can figure out a pace that’s healthy and enjoyable for both.

Remember, it’s about both of you enjoying each other’s company, not about hitting a certain number. Trust me, once you open up, it’ll only get better from there.

[antonio123]

Bro, I think a lot of guys can relate to what you’re going through. It’s actually really normal to feel like you’re falling short when your partner has a higher drive. But remember, this isn't a race. Each couple has their own pace, and what’s “normal” for one might not work for another. At 32, you’re doing just fine, and most people would be impressed with what you’re already managing!

I've been in situations where I couldn’t keep up, and it actually made me a better communicator with my partner. I let her know where my limits were, and it helped us build a stronger, more honest connection. The 10x thing she mentioned sounds like a fantasy more than a realistic expectation, and that’s something she might just need some perspective on.

Have you considered exploring ways to keep things intimate outside of sex? Sometimes simple things like taking time to talk, laugh, or even cuddle can fill that need for connection. And it might help take some of the performance pressure off of you. Most people find that a good balance helps the relationship in the long run.

So, don’t be too hard on yourself. What you’re experiencing is completely normal, and communicating openly about your needs can make things better for both of you.