Seeking a Second Opinion: My Experience with a Bar Girl in Bangkok

[aiden15632]

I’ve been discussing my recent experience with a bar girl in Bangkok with a friend, and I’d like to gather some more opinions from the community. Here's the situation:
On my second night in Bangkok, I met a girl who was decent company and good fun. Despite being completely exhausted, I brought her back to my hotel where my valuables, like iPads and cameras, were laid out. Given the opportunity, she could have easily taken advantage of the situation, but she didn’t. She spent the entire day with me for 2000 baht, which I thought was a reasonable price.
The following night, she asked if I would bar fine her again, as she liked me. I agreed, even though she wasn’t a stunner, because she seemed genuine and somewhat naive. It turns out she had only been working in the bars for about three weeks and wasn’t very sexually experienced, which was evident to me.
On the third day, she declined my offer of 2000 baht for her previous night and said, “I just want to be with you.” Over the next few days, she continued to stay with me without additional payments beyond covering meals and other expenses. I bar fined her again, but no extra money changed hands; our arrangement was more about companionship than financial transactions.
I’m reaching out to get a broader perspective on this situation. Was I too trusting or did I handle things appropriately? How should I approach similar situations in the future? Any advice or insights from those who have been in similar circumstances would be greatly appreciated.



4o mini

[daniel74]

sounds not so bad mate. i think you can give her a try... but - hard to say anyway... i have some question what will help others too to give you a proper advice...

where is her hometown?

what about her language skills?

what about her family situation , mean does she have kids?

when will you come back to LOS?

what does she do for a living in her hometown - or is she expecting that you send her money every months?



sorry many questions - but i was in a similar situation about 20 years ago...



cheers

[hilululu]

Best advice I can give you is take it step by step if you decide to pursue this relationship. If you sense you are being taken advantage of then be prepared to call it quits and walk away.

Depending upon your answers to cfeu68 's questions you will know what to be looking for as far as danger signals go.

I am married to a Thai girl and it is a fun ride but be aware of the possibilities for being taken advantage of. Marriage to a Thai girl is like nothin'n else in the world.

Keep sharing and we will share more opinions I am sure.

[johnson13]

She took no money from you. If this goes south then chalk the 7k up to her payments if she had accepted payment from you.



You might want to limit the constant communication to 1-2 replies a day and just explain how your life is busy.



If this is all good then the next time you drop by she will turn into your Thai GF. Just watch out if she wants to introduce you to her parents!

[shant234]

Thanks for the replies fellas, really appreciate it.



Answers are as follows....



where is her hometown? Phitsanulok



what about her language skills? I'm an English teacher so I'd say lower intermediate or 5/10 in layman's terms. She can communicate but limited vocab.



what about her family situation , mean does she have kids? No kids,never been married. She's ten years younger than me (27)



when will you come back to LOS? In theory I could head back for five days in Feb but June is more realistic.



what does she do for a living in her hometown - or is she expecting that you send her money every months? Farming I think is the family trade from what I gathered. She has an education and used to work in admin (I've seen evidence of this thanks to my spying).



In my opinion and what what I gather, she lost her admin job and literately had to fall into the bar scene to provide for her parents like so many bar girls do. She really does hate it and will quit on the 16th (again I know this thanks to her trusty FB)



I do hate all the cloak and dagger stuff I have to do but I need to be sure on this.



If she goes home as she says she will and can't get work then I don't mind helping out every few months, but I will only do it on my terms and not as some kind of regular payment scheme.