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+--- Thread: Can i orgasm from sex with my boyfriend? (/showthread.php?tid=3577)
Can i orgasm from sex with my boyfriend? - daniel74 - 01-27-2025
Hello. I got a question that I hope somebody can answer. I had one sex partner in my life, and that is my ex-boyfriend. He had a fairly small penis, I would say, and when we had sex, it was very short—like 30-60 seconds. The only way I ever had an orgasm from him was when he ate me out. Well, we broke up about seven months ago, and I have been with my new boyfriend now for five months. We are finally about to have sex soon, but he isn’t that big either. He seems a little bigger than my ex-boyfriend, but I’m just worried that when we have sex, he won’t be able to make me orgasm either. Does time matter? If my boyfriend lasts longer, will he have more time to make me do that? Or is the size going to be a problem? Please help.
First of all, it’s important to know that size is not the most significant factor when it comes to sexual satisfaction or achieving orgasm. Many women report that their ability to climax depends far more on the quality of the connection, foreplay, and emotional intimacy rather than the size of their partner. Clitoral stimulation, in particular, plays a key role in female orgasms, and penetrative sex alone often isn’t enough for many women to reach that point.
Your concern about the time factor is valid. A longer duration of sexual activity can increase the likelihood of arousal and orgasm, but it’s not just about how long sex lasts—it’s about what happens during that time. If your partner focuses on understanding your needs and incorporates foreplay, oral sex, or other forms of stimulation, the chances of you reaching orgasm will likely improve. It’s not a race or purely about penetration; it’s about creating an experience that satisfies both of you.
It’s worth remembering that everyone’s body is different, and the way you experience pleasure may change with a new partner. Communication will be key in this new relationship. Don’t hesitate to guide your boyfriend on what feels good for you. Whether that means more focus on foreplay, experimenting with positions, or introducing toys into your intimacy, being open and honest about your preferences can make a big difference.
Your concerns also highlight the importance of emotional comfort and connection. Feeling relaxed, confident, and connected to your partner can make intimacy much more enjoyable and fulfilling. If you’re feeling anxious about whether or not you’ll orgasm, that stress can sometimes make it harder to reach that point. Try to approach this moment with patience and curiosity, focusing on enjoying the experience rather than putting pressure on yourself to perform in a certain way.
Ultimately, orgasms aren’t the only measure of a satisfying sexual relationship. Building trust, exploring each other’s desires, and growing comfortable together can be just as rewarding. Over time, as you both learn more about each other’s preferences and bodies, you’ll likely find ways to increase your pleasure and satisfaction together.
So, no, size is not the problem. What matters most is communication, mutual understanding, and a willingness to explore and enjoy the journey of intimacy with your partner. You’re not alone in having these concerns, and with time and effort, you’ll likely discover what works best for you both.
RE: Can i orgasm from sex with my boyfriend? - deigo123 - 01-28-2025
Hey there! Thanks for sharing your experience—it’s a common concern for many people, so you’re not alone. From what you’ve described, it sounds like your ex-boyfriend didn’t spend much time focusing on foreplay or understanding what worked for you, which can make a huge difference. It’s not unusual for women to find it challenging to orgasm from penetration alone. In fact, studies show that the majority of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm.
When it comes to your new boyfriend, size really isn’t the main issue. What will matter more is how attentive he is to your needs and how well you two communicate about what feels good. If he’s open to trying different techniques or incorporating more foreplay into your intimacy, that could make all the difference. Make sure to let him know what worked for you in the past—like oral sex—and what you’d like to try moving forward.
Also, remember that the way you experience pleasure with one partner might not be the same with another. Every relationship is different, and sometimes just feeling more connected and relaxed with someone can improve your sexual experiences overall. Take your time to explore each other and figure out what works for both of you. It’s a learning process, and it’s okay if it takes some time to get there.
Lastly, don’t put too much pressure on yourself or him. Intimacy is about enjoying the moment together, not just achieving a specific outcome. The more you focus on pleasure and connection, the more natural orgasms will become. And if you’re still finding it tricky, you could always experiment with toys or other methods to enhance the experience. Communication is key, so keep that dialogue open!
RE: Can i orgasm from sex with my boyfriend? - hanar123 - 01-28-2025
Hi there! I totally get where you’re coming from, and honestly, you’re not alone in feeling this way. I think a lot of us have been in situations where we wondered if we could orgasm with a new partner, especially if things didn’t work out perfectly in the past. But I can tell you from personal experience that connection and communication can really change everything.
With my current partner, I was initially worried because, physically, he wasn’t much different from my ex. But what really made a difference was how much attention he gave to my needs. We spent a lot of time talking about what felt good for me—without any judgment—and he was willing to take his time to experiment with different things. Trust me, the more you communicate, the better it gets.
One thing to keep in mind is that orgasms are not always about penetration. They’re about the overall experience—foreplay, emotional intimacy, and even the little things like kissing and touching in the right way. Don’t shy away from guiding your boyfriend during those moments. Most guys appreciate it when you tell them exactly what feels good because they want to please you.
Finally, try not to overthink it too much. Sometimes, the stress of wondering if you’ll orgasm can make it harder to relax and actually enjoy the moment. Instead of focusing on the outcome, focus on the journey—build that connection, explore each other, and let things happen naturally. You’ll be surprised at how much better things can feel when you take that pressure off yourself.
RE: Can i orgasm from sex with my boyfriend? - antonio123 - 01-28-2025
Hey! I think you’ve brought up some really good points here. From what I’ve learned, timing and technique are way more important than size when it comes to sexual satisfaction. If your boyfriend can last a little longer and focuses on things like foreplay or clitoral stimulation, that’s going to make a much bigger difference than you might think.
For me, I’ve realized that the buildup to sex is just as important as the act itself. If your boyfriend takes the time to warm you up—whether it’s through kissing, touching, or even just creating an intimate atmosphere—you’re already halfway there. The more aroused you are before penetration, the better the chances of reaching orgasm.
I also think it’s important to let go of the idea that orgasms are the only goal during sex. Sometimes the most satisfying experiences are about the closeness and pleasure you feel together, even if you don’t finish every single time. That being said, if you’re looking for ways to make orgasm more likely, incorporating toys or experimenting with positions that provide more clitoral stimulation can really help.
Most importantly, don’t hesitate to talk to your boyfriend about what works for you. If he’s the right guy, he’ll be eager to learn and make sure you’re satisfied. A good partner is one who listens and adapts, so be open about your needs and see how things progress. You’ve got this!
RE: Can i orgasm from sex with my boyfriend? - amravat123 - 01-28-2025
Hi! I just wanted to chime in because I’ve been in a similar situation before. When I started dating my current partner, I was really worried about whether I’d be able to orgasm with him because I had a hard time with my ex. But what I learned is that every partner is different, and so is every sexual experience. What didn’t work with one person might work amazingly well with someone else.
One thing that helped me was focusing on communication. It was awkward at first, but I started telling my boyfriend what I liked—whether it was slower foreplay, more oral, or even just trying different positions. He was super understanding and willing to learn, which made me feel so much more comfortable. That comfort translated into better, more enjoyable intimacy, and eventually, the orgasms started happening too.
Another thing I realized is that foreplay is crucial. I can’t stress this enough—penetration alone isn’t usually enough for most women. If your boyfriend can focus on clitoral stimulation, either with his hands, mouth, or even a toy, it can make a world of difference. It’s not about the size or how long he lasts; it’s about how much effort he puts into making you feel good.
Lastly, try not to stress too much. The more pressure you put on yourself to orgasm, the harder it can be to relax and actually enjoy the moment. Focus on having fun and exploring each other’s bodies. The more you relax and trust each other, the better the experience will be.
RE: Can i orgasm from sex with my boyfriend? - piciossa - 01-28-2025
Hey there, great topic! Let me just start by saying that size is probably the least important factor when it comes to sexual satisfaction. What really matters is how well your boyfriend understands your body and whether he’s willing to take the time to figure out what you need to feel good. I’ve been with partners of all different sizes, and honestly, the ones who were the most attentive and communicative were the ones who gave me the best experiences.
If your boyfriend lasts longer than your ex, that could definitely help, but it’s not just about lasting longer—it’s about how he uses that time. If he’s open to trying things like extended foreplay, oral sex, or even using toys, there’s a good chance you’ll have a much better experience. Remember, it’s not just about penetration; it’s about the whole package.
One thing I’d recommend is taking some time to explore what works for you outside of sex with your partner. Masturbation can be a great way to figure out what kind of stimulation you enjoy most. Once you know what works for you, you can share that with your boyfriend and guide him during sex. Most guys appreciate that kind of feedback because they want to make sure you’re having a good time.
At the end of the day, it’s all about communication and trust. Don’t be afraid to talk to your boyfriend about your concerns and what you’re hoping to experience with him. The more open and honest you are, the better your chances of building a satisfying and enjoyable sexual relationship.