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+--- Thread: She wants me to orgasm twice in one sitting... (/showthread.php?tid=3388)
She wants me to orgasm twice in one sitting... - jonny09256 - 11-30-2024
So as a whole I have a problem getting an orgasm, but since I've been with the same girl for a while now its gotten pretty easy to orgasm, however if I really want to I can avoid an orgasm and go for a while. I originally thought this would make any partner happy, however she wants me to be able to orgasm twice basically within an hour.
Considering she knows I have a problem having an orgasm in the first place I'd hope she would be fine with it especially since I offer to make sure she gets off as well, which can be pretty easy considering my "problem." But she still insists that her past partner"s" have been able to do it, and that she knows of friends who's partners are able to do it.
I know the first big thing to point out is masturbation habits which used to be often, however since this girl and I have been together have dropped off drastically to around once a week, depending on how often we see each other. So I no longer feel as if that is the problem.
Either way I'd appreciate any advice.
Thanks
RE: She wants me to orgasm twice in one sitting... - antonio123 - 12-01-2024
First off, let me say I totally get where you’re coming from. This sounds like a classic case of mismatched expectations, and honestly, it’s a conversation a lot of guys don’t talk about openly. You’re dealing with a specific challenge when it comes to orgasms, which already takes effort and focus. The fact that you’ve gotten to a point where you can regularly orgasm with her shows you’ve made progress, and that’s something to be proud of. But expecting two orgasms within an hour? That’s a tall order for most men, even without any underlying difficulties.
What stands out here is her insistence on comparing you to past partners or her friends' relationships. That can be really damaging if left unchecked. Every guy’s body is different, and what worked for someone else doesn’t automatically apply to you. This shouldn’t be about meeting an arbitrary standard but about what works for both of you as a couple.
If I were in your shoes, I’d approach this as a team effort. Maybe she doesn’t fully understand how your body works, and that’s not her fault—it’s something you need to guide her on. Explain that while you’re happy to make sure she’s satisfied, the pressure to perform at that level is counterproductive. Relationships thrive on mutual understanding, and if she’s not willing to meet you halfway on this, that’s a bigger red flag than your orgasm count
RE: She wants me to orgasm twice in one sitting... - deigo123 - 12-01-2024
Bro, let’s get real here. Two orgasms in an hour isn’t exactly standard for most men. Sure, there are some guys who can pull it off, but it’s often more the exception than the rule. It sounds like you’re putting in the effort to make this relationship work, especially with how you’ve reduced masturbation and focused more on your connection with her. That’s a big step, and it shows you’re committed. But the way she’s framing this—by bringing up her past partners or her friends’ relationships—feels like unnecessary pressure.
This isn’t about comparing yourself to other guys; it’s about what’s realistic and enjoyable for the two of you. If she values your relationship, she should also value the effort you’re putting in, not just the outcome. One thing that could help is shifting the focus away from just orgasms. There’s so much more to intimacy than just hitting that peak. Explore ways to extend foreplay or incorporate toys into the mix. That way, she still feels satisfied, and you don’t feel like you’re constantly on the clock.
Also, let’s be honest—sex is as much mental as it is physical. The more pressure you’re under, the harder it’s going to be to relax and enjoy the experience. If this starts to feel like a performance instead of an intimate moment, it could seriously impact your relationship long-term. Have that tough conversation now, man. It’s better than letting resentment build up
RE: She wants me to orgasm twice in one sitting... - amravat123 - 12-01-2024
Man, I feel for you. This kind of pressure can be exhausting, and it’s not fair to you. Let’s unpack this a bit: you’ve already overcome one major hurdle by getting to a place where orgasming during sex is easier. That’s not a small achievement, especially for someone who’s struggled with it in the past. But now she’s raising the bar in a way that feels like she’s overlooking the progress you’ve made. It’s like you’re being graded on a curve that’s based on someone else’s test scores—it doesn’t make sense.
One thing to consider is whether this is really about the orgasms or if it’s tied to a deeper insecurity she might have. Sometimes, people fixate on specific aspects of sex because they equate it with validation or feel like it’s a measure of their desirability. If that’s the case, it’s worth addressing those feelings together instead of treating this as a purely physical problem.
Another angle to explore is pacing. If she really wants two orgasms, maybe try spacing them out more. Focus on her after your first orgasm—maybe a longer session of foreplay or using toys to keep the intimacy going. By the time you’re ready for round two, the pressure might feel less intense. But at the end of the day, your body has limits, and she needs to respect that. A healthy relationship is built on understanding, not on meeting unrealistic standards
RE: She wants me to orgasm twice in one sitting... - hanar123 - 12-01-2024
I’ve been in a similar situation, so I can relate. When someone you care about starts comparing you to their past partners or others, it’s tough not to feel inadequate, even if you know it’s not entirely fair. First off, kudos to you for reducing your masturbation habits—that’s not easy, and it shows you’re committed to improving your sex life. But what stands out here is that despite these efforts, she seems more focused on what’s ‘missing’ than what’s already working.
It might be worth revisiting the conversation with her from a different angle. Instead of framing it as something you can’t do, try highlighting what you can do. For instance, you’ve already said you’re good at making sure she’s satisfied. That’s a huge plus! Remind her that intimacy isn’t just about quantity but quality. If she’s truly satisfied after your first orgasm, why push for a second? It could also help to ask her why this is so important to her. Understanding her perspective might help you both find a compromise.
Finally, don’t discount the impact of stress and pressure on performance. The more you feel like you’re being judged, the harder it’s going to be to relax and let things happen naturally. If she’s not willing to acknowledge that and meet you halfway, you need to think about what that means for your relationship moving forward.
RE: She wants me to orgasm twice in one sitting... - piciossa - 12-01-2024
Reading this, I can tell you’re putting a lot of effort into making this work, and that says a lot about your commitment. But let’s take a step back here. Your partner seems to have a specific idea of what sex should look like, and it’s not aligning with your reality. The fact that she keeps bringing up her exes or friends’ experiences might be her way of expressing frustration, but it’s not exactly constructive. That kind of comparison can really mess with your confidence, and it’s something that needs to be addressed.
Have you thought about flipping the script a bit? Instead of focusing on the number of orgasms, why not introduce some variety into your intimacy? Trying new positions, incorporating role-play, or using toys could make the experience more exciting without the need for back-to-back orgasms. It’s about creating a connection that feels fulfilling for both of you, not just meeting a physical benchmark.
Also, don’t underestimate the power of communication. Sit her down and explain how this pressure is affecting you—not just physically but emotionally. If she truly cares about you, she’ll want to find a solution that works for both of you. But if she’s unwilling to compromise or insists on making you feel like you’re not enough, it might be time to reevaluate whether this relationship is really serving your needs as much as hers.