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+--- Thread: question about orgasm control (/showthread.php?tid=3269)
question about orgasm control - daniel74 - 11-24-2024
So I'm 22 and have been sexually inactive for basically my entire adult life. The few times I've had sex I have lasted less than a minute and I've never really built up a solid foundation to last in bed with chicks
I recently have been seeing a 26 year old but she has high expectations in bed and knows I'm kind of inexperienced. I need to get my confidence up by learning how to last longer
What is the best way to go about this? Masturbate for long periods of time or just try to find lots of sex partners? I feel like I'm kind of late to be this bad in the sack
Any ideas will help - I really want to fix this issue lol
RE: question about orgasm control - amravat123 - 11-25-2024
Hey man, first off, don't be hard on yourself. You're just 22 and you're still learning about your own body. Everyone starts somewhere, and it's not too late to improve. Confidence is key, and once you build that, the rest will follow. Masturbation can definitely help you practice control, but it's about consistency. Start slow, and focus on building your endurance over time. You can try edging, which is when you get close to orgasm but then stop or reduce stimulation to build control. This will teach you to recognize your body's signals.
As for sex partners, it’s good to experiment, but don’t feel like you have to go out and sleep with a bunch of women to get better. If anything, pressure can make things worse. Focus on quality experiences where you're relaxed. Take the time to talk to your partner about what you need, and don't be afraid to ask for breaks or a slower pace when things get too intense. Communication is just as important as technique.
Also, don’t underestimate the importance of mental relaxation. Anxiety about performing can actually make things worse, so try to stay calm and focus on the moment. Remember, sex isn’t just about lasting longer, but about connecting and enjoying each other. Work on that mindset, and the rest will follow.
Finally, don't be afraid to explore other techniques, like Kegels. Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles can increase control and even help with delaying ejaculation. It might seem weird at first, but it really works for a lot of guys.
RE: question about orgasm control - piciossa - 11-25-2024
Bro, you're definitely not alone in this. I went through the same thing when I was younger, and it took time to figure it out. I think the most important thing you can do is stop stressing about being perfect in bed. A lot of guys feel like they have to perform a certain way, but it’s more about the experience and building a connection. That said, there are definitely ways to improve your stamina. Masturbation is a solid way to practice, but I wouldn't say just focus on doing it for hours. Instead, work on controlling your arousal level.
The edging technique is great for building control. If you haven’t tried it yet, it’s simple: get yourself close to the edge and then stop before you orgasm. Repeat this several times, and you’ll train your body to recognize when it's getting close, which gives you more control during the real thing. It might feel a little frustrating at first, but over time, it works wonders.
Also, I highly recommend focusing on your physical health. Strengthening your core and pelvic muscles can improve your endurance. Believe it or not, fitness plays a huge role in stamina. Plus, being in good shape can boost your confidence too. If you feel better about yourself physically, it will translate into better performance in bed.
One last thing, man, don’t rush it. Be patient with yourself. Sex isn’t a race, and the more you try to focus on enjoying the moment, the more it’ll naturally improve.
RE: question about orgasm control - deigo123 - 11-25-2024
I hear you, dude, but you’re definitely not late in the game. The truth is, a lot of guys struggle with this, especially when they haven’t had as much experience. What’s important here is that you’re aware of the issue and want to improve, which is half the battle. The first step is to relax. Anxiety can seriously mess with your performance. It might sound cliché, but try mindfulness or meditation to help reduce stress. The more relaxed you are, the better you'll perform.
You can absolutely use masturbation to practice, but again, it’s about quality over quantity. Don’t overdo it trying to last forever during solo sessions; focus on learning your body’s rhythms. Try timing yourself and then intentionally holding off, but don’t push yourself too hard. If you’re practicing edging, make sure to take breaks when needed.
Also, work on building your sexual confidence in other areas. Women appreciate a man who knows how to talk about what he wants or needs in bed. Communication with your partner is just as important as performance. If you’re feeling insecure, let her know—she’ll likely be more understanding than you think, and that might help take the pressure off.
One technique I’ve found useful is to practice different types of foreplay to distract yourself from focusing solely on your performance. By engaging her and making her feel great, you take the spotlight off yourself and learn to enjoy the whole experience. You’ll get better in time, trust me!
RE: question about orgasm control - antonio123 - 11-25-2024
Hey man, you're not alone in this! A lot of guys face this issue, especially when they haven’t had a lot of experience. The key thing to remember is that sexual performance isn’t the end-all-be-all. You should focus on building your confidence, and the rest will follow. First things first, try to get rid of any performance anxiety you have. The more you worry about lasting longer, the harder it’ll be to actually enjoy the moment. Start by learning to control your breathing, that can help keep you calm when you feel close to orgasm.
As far as masturbation, yeah, practice is important, but don’t focus on doing it for hours. Instead, concentrate on techniques like edging, where you bring yourself to the edge and stop, or slow down, before going any further. This teaches your body to recognize the build-up and helps you control it better during real sex.
You might also want to experiment with different types of foreplay. Women don’t just want the “main event”—they want to feel connected, so focusing on foreplay will not only help her feel amazing, but it’ll also take the pressure off of you. Don’t forget that mutual satisfaction is the goal, not just lasting longer.
Lastly, be patient with yourself. This is a learning process, and you’re doing great by reaching out and seeking advice. The more you practice, the more your confidence and performance will improve, and you’ll be enjoying sex without overthinking it soon enough.
RE: question about orgasm control - hanar123 - 11-25-2024
Man, I totally get where you're coming from. I’ve been there myself, and the pressure to perform can really mess with your head. The first thing I’d recommend is to take the focus off of lasting longer and shift it to overall enjoyment. It sounds simple, but when you stop thinking about “holding on” and just focus on making your partner feel good, the performance anxiety tends to fade.
But, as far as techniques go, edging is a game-changer. It’s all about learning to control your arousal and finding your “edge” without going over it. If you’re practicing this alone, it can help you build stamina for the real thing. I’d also suggest trying some Kegel exercises. Strengthening those muscles can make a huge difference. It’s all about getting your body to cooperate, and that takes time and practice.
You should also experiment with different positions during sex. Some positions can actually help you last longer by allowing you to control the depth and speed of penetration. Don’t be afraid to switch things up with your partner and see what feels best. It’ll also take the pressure off focusing too much on performance if you’re both having fun exploring.
Finally, stop comparing yourself to others. Every guy has different experiences and expectations. Just because you’re starting to learn this now doesn’t mean you’re behind. Trust me, once you get more practice, you’ll be surprised at how quickly you can improve.