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Dealing With Hangover - aiden15632 - 07-25-2024
For some there's a hangover when you come home after a week or more of P4P.
I'm only 4 trips into this, so I wrote this based on how I deal with it.
I welcome experienced BM's to add to it.
Dealing with the Hangover
The hangover is the feeling that occurs once that good time feeling wears off. Then you feel like shit, it's like a hangover.
It doesn't affect everyone in the same way, but almost everyone feels the sting once the party is over.
It can be confusing after a week or more of porno sex with wild women.
And sometimes we can get P4P twisted for what it is.
So how do you get back to your regular life after living out the rock star fantasy with fly girls and porno sex?
After getting so much pussy in such a short amount of time can mess with your emotive state.
There is no definite time frame for how long it takes for the hangover to go away, but it's usually a couple of days or weeks.
The First Week at Home
The first week at home you're on cruise control. You're still high from all that sweet pussy you got to have, you don't give a flying fuck about nothing, it's like no one can touch you. Love songs on the radio?, what is that noise all about? The come down hasn't hit yet, you're still feeling real good from the last trip, living life for the moment.
Even around friends, family or even colleagues at work you're cocksure, to the point they can see you beaming, you're smug and confident, so much so it puts everyone off just a tad. It's a good feeling. Savour it while it lasts.
The Weeks Ahead
As intelligent as some of us claim to be it's always in the sweet here-after where we doubt ourselves the most.
When there's nothing else but down time until you go back to Thailand. The time in wait fucks with your head.
So what you need to do is find a balance. Don't live your life at home in wait of going back there. Because that's not living.
You might be missing someone or it's the pussy. If you've taken Line details the hangover is made worse, you will get no help from the girls.
If you're missing someone special and you're being told things like Come back here and fuck me again, Or be my boyfriend. It can be tough if you've not heard it before. Separation anxiety kicks in. You're at home and she's there. She has to work and so do you. Remember this is just pillow talk until you're standing in front of one another again.
Now for someone who has never heard this kind of talk it's hard to absorb. It tugs at your heart strings. But remember that it's a P4P girl that's saying these things. This is being said to you for customer retention. It's done for their survival. So don't fall for it. There is maybe only a small percentage of what is being said that is actually true. Yet sadly you will cling to hope. You may even delude yourself in vain believing anything they say to you. Equally there can be a power shift if you fall for the stories. I need money. Mother is sick. Then they've got you on the dangle. Hell you might even end up sponsoring one or two of them because you think they're different or that you'll save her from this life, bring her home, make her my wife, share a life together and so on.
As intelligent guys you will still prefer to believe the sweetest of lies even when folks are screaming sense at you. Sell you a Dream. And you would buy it if only to feel like you did just a little while ago. But having a girl fuck with your head while you're at home can be heart ache for the lonely.
Three weeks is the average length of time for any post-holiday romance to have run it's course. Around the three week mark the contact tapers off. The girls reset, forget and move on, and go on trying to survive anyway they can.
NOW REBUILD YOURSELF
The best advice is - Work hard at regaining your individuality again.
You don't need to go back to being your old self. Instead become the person who you remember as being so full of joy, confident and was living life to the full. That needs to be your aim. Be that guy. Get busy living your life.
In time the process of Mongering gets easier. The more you do it, the more shit you put yourself through, the better you get at dealing with it all. It's all practice and it's all good and it's all needed.
Eventually you get better at asking for exactly what you want, and that can help you in the long run avoid some of the rookie mistakes that can fuck with your head and heart.
Dealing with the hangover...
The hangover leaves you aching. The ache, is the emptiness you feel. When the sting is at it's worst you walk around like a zombie. All you feel is the ache. Or rather the lack of what's missing in your regular life.
You might not miss someone in particular but instead what you are really missing is that wonderful feeling.
That might be because there's no woman in your life right now or maybe it's because there is nothing else really going on back here in Farang World just bills, work and all the other bullshit in between.
It's hard to compare the LOS to the world we live inside of back home, we don't have anything that comes close to compare it to.
But with each journey it does get easier to deal with when you come back.
Here are some ideas.
Adjusting, Routines, Distractions - Trying to compare the rock star porno sex to your lifestyle in Falang land is hard enough to deal with. It's a huge buzz to come down from. Old routines are at first distasteful and can feel a little deflatting. But after some time routines are not the demons you fear them to be. What you should do is to try to improve upon your basic routine by adding new things into the mix.
Plan for activities not only on weekend's, but also during the week. These are distractions to help stop you from self-focusing on the trip you just had and to recover more quickly.
Even work is a good source of adjusting back to a routine. It creates purpose so throw yourself into it for a while. It can't hurt.
Changes - Oh but I hate my life. Yeah sure you do at the moment. But it won't last. Right now you're changing, life is always about change. Keep these ideas in your head, don't forget them, some of these are your heart's true desire. Don't accept your same old life. Nah, you've just had some of the best sex in your life, so keep on living, go nuts, add some spice to the routine, keep changing. And pretty soon you'll realize that you don't hate your life.
Consider this, your life is already pretty great if it allowed you to visit the LOS and to P4P with some pretty girls. How many folks get to discover that side of themselves. You're awesome dude.
You feel fucked up and stuck at home because it's the routine and expectations that you loathe.
So change that stuff around a bit. Not too much, but just a bit so it's not the same horrible SSDD.
Don't confide - Anyone you confide to with all this shit will want to murder your ass after a few weeks. Pussy is all you'll be talking about non-stop like a broken record. If you can STFU and keep it all paired back you'll do yourself and others a huge favor.
But don't tell people too much. Spare them the details. Don't tell co-workers or family any of it. Choose a best friend and keep it all light and easy. They'll hound you for more steamy details which you may choose to irk out over time. But don't tell them all your deeds. Because what people like more than money is power. Power means they get to sit in judgement over you, what you've told them, your Secrets and sins. Maybe pay to see a counsellor or talk to people on P4P forums. They will understand.
No one knows what you're going through. They won't ever know. You can't share your own self-destruction with someone and expect to remain trusted. This thought applies to both family and friends, as they will always see you as something less given the societal stance on P4P. Don't talk about P4P with those idiots as they won't understand what you're going through and they will never accept your decision to Monger.
But you should own your decisions and not live up to other people's expectations. This is your life to lead. Not theirs.
Work, Life Balance & Distractions - For some of us our work is very important. And some of us think, Hey maybe this is the best I can do, so maybe I should appreciate it more. Maybe. Or maybe your mission is to earn even more money so you can spend it on girls. That's a good motivator.
Work and home life is a hard act to balance. You have to have something to do. Because all of this is a distraction from thinking about pussy. Or more correctly missing pussy. Most the time pussy is still many weeks away. Sometimes it's months away so you have to find a way of enjoying your life here at home. You have to achieve a balance. Between fantasy land and getting on with living your life.
In the mean time at home what you need to do is to add some new routines, more purposeful ones than say sitting in front the TV or computer.
Some distractions I've considered include - taking up a new language, learning yoga, swimming, hitting the gym, self-defence, working out with a trainer, lose excess weight, eat right get smart get healthy. Yeah I dunno do whatever fills in time for you as a healthy distraction that gets you away from thinking about all of the pussy you're not having in the LOS.
Don't despair, don't doubt - Don't get locked into thinking that you are too old or not handsome. Your wallet is attractive enough. Sexual performance, experience, ability, size, are not important. No hair, grey hair, too fat, no muscle, is not important in P4P.
Doubt comes from self analyising. So what if your youthful looks are gone. Are you worried about how do you look when your t-shirt is off. Do you do not look good naked? Why do you think that you are not handsome. Hey, don't worry, nobody cares. I mean not really. What scene girls really care about is, Is this dude gonna kill me, Is he going to be nice to me, pay what is fair, and then let me get on with my life. That's all that's important. Apart from personal hygiene, so stay clean and fresh.
Remind yourself of this. If I could scheme girls back home I would be doing that. But right now this is the best you can do, this the best that you can hope for. So please enjoy it why don't ya.
Becoming an individual - What you need to do is to become an individual again. Prior to going back to the LOS again you need to step back into the game as the same confident person you were before. The first few weeks back at home it might take some time to get yourself walking tall again.But if you can manage that before the next trip you'll be fine. You'll go into this thing all horny and happy. It's the right way to be. The girls see that confidence and it's attractive.
But what you really need to do at home is to find the balance between enjoying your life here at home while working towards that next holiday. Don't put your life on pause while at home, keep living life to the fullest. Make your life as interesting as possible.
Going back to the LOS - You need to be thinking right before you step onto the plane so that you can completely let yourself go when you're next in the LOS.
Going in feeling good starts with having the courage to ask for exactly what you want. Your attitude needs to be brimming with self-confidence. Your time spent in the LOS is a bit of a fantasy. But it's one that money can buy, so enjoy it, money's only there to be spent.
Think about the trip ahead, but don't over plan. Don't go there with a who-to-fuck-list - it becomes a whores chore list. Don't go there expecting to re-discover someone or make attempts to recreate something you had. That moment is done. New things are waiting. Don't deny yourself of new experiences from happening.
Don't forget what P4P is.
Remind yourself what P4P really is....
- P4P is paying to fuck someone. Paying for their time and pleasure. It is a trade off of baht for intimacy.
It's an arrangement that you form with someone that you have just met, that you then pay to fuck.
- You are not special, no matter what you are being told.
What you are is just another fella standing in line with a bunch of other guys. You are not "the one" as you might be told. This is not a fairytale romance. This is not Pretty Woman. Sure the two of you had a moment, a giggle, but thats it, it's just business.
- She is not thinking about you in the same way that you are thinking about her. You are a name in her contact list.
Six months from now you may be forgotten completely. Except in photos where you are recalled as a distant memory.
She is not thinking about you right now. She does not love you, not in the way you need to be loved.
This is a transactional experience. She is trying to survive. You are a revenue source.
- There are things said to you in the sweet hereafter that are done in order to keep your interest.
No one is waiting for you to come back. Not in the same way you might like them to waiting for your triumphant return.
These things are said to keep you coming back to see that one particular girl, instead of the 1000's of other girls who are working in the scene right now. It's all about customer retention.
- You are not in a relationship with a girl you met from the scene. Do not delude yourself into thinking that she is now a girlfriend. No, rather she is more akin to a colleague who you work with. We do our job together (the fucking) then she goes home and you go home. You are always going home. She's there in the LOS and this is what she needs to do in order to survive. These girls are not our girlfriends and there is a slim percent chance of converting one into a girlfriend/wife. Don't risk your heart, time, money and hope on such a thing. Consider how you met in the first place, that's your starting point. Oh sure, people are still people, but a girl who has been in the scene too long has PTSD, or ting tong to a point where love and the intimacy shared inside the dynamic of P4P will leave her damaged and all sorts of fucked up.
For the girls to do what they do it's about survival but more than that - they are never left unscarred from it.
- Remember what is the basis of your time spent with any girl, it's P4P and you paid for this experience. You paid to feel this way. Paid to feel so very special. All of this is temporary. Enjoy it while it's happening. Hold on tightly, let go lightly. The girls working inside the biz know what they are. They know what you are, butterfly or whatever you choose to call yourself. But your real name is Money. Enjoy these girls for the wonderful things they provide us with. Reminders of love and intimacy, even if it's for a week, an hour or whatever. Cherish them for that. Enjoy the experience and afterwards... move on.
- You do not own her. She's a separate walking talking human being, an individual with her own choices just like you. She can and will fuck other guys for money. That's what she does in order to live. She owes you nothing more than what you paid for. Equally she does not own you. You are free to fuck whoever you want, and pay for whatever experience you choose.
- You should not be doing anyone any favours. You are not rescuing anyone from choices that they have not already made in order to be here. Don't be a hero. Don't be a sponsor. Don't overspend and flaunt wealth, you are doing the rest of us no favours by doing this. You do not have to pay for everything, just most things. Don't offer gifts in exchange for loyalty or reward. Your money is reward enough. You are not scheming this girl into marriage or falling for you. You can't do that or else you are just further fooling yourself into believing that, No she's different and I can change her. Yeah maybe 1 in every 1,000. It's a rarity. So if you're prepared to go through hell in order to find out, go for it. But this is not a dating service that typically leads towards romance. It's P4P with a three's F's rule that applies to both us guys and the girls. Find. Fuck. Forget.
- Don't get jelly if she fucks other guys, that's her job, that's what she does to make money. Generally she doesn't like her job. Fucking you is a part of doing her job. So what does that say about this imagined romance.
- Remember, as good as you've got it right now - Others are always waiting. You have so many choices. There are more girls than there are stars in the sky, they are dying to meet you... and your money.
Consider your behaviour around the girls.
- Try to establish a rule within yourself to always keep things on an even keel so that everything is fair. Keep it nice, light and cool without reminding the girl of her job or you over thinking what this is. Understand there is a difference between sex and making love.
- Be upfront. State openly this is what I am prepared to pay. This is what I want to do with you. If she don't agree, move along, keep asking questions. Keep interviewing.
- Always be real, genuine, nice. Oh sure you can fake it with flattering, charming, or suave behaviour but there is no requirement for seduction. A drink or two will serve as our courtship.
Work towards remaining a gentleman. Not a cad, a sleaze or a rude prick who treats the girls as though they are meat or consumables, please don't do that. If you can bring joy into someones life for a moment then you have earned your place in Heaven my son.
- Don't be rude. Don't ever be an asshole. Even if the situation is turning to shit before you, you can always just simply walk away, walk with grace like no one can touch you. Keep your cool. Never lose respect, especially in public. Don't show too much emotion. Don't show a softer side of yourself in order to win favour, or an argument. You don't need to.
- Don't be a selfish or lazy lover. If she can't fuck right then never BF her again. Pay her what she's owed and end your time together politely, respectfully, but don't fuck the ones who can't cop.
- Don't get attached. Be Japanesey. Enjoy your time but when it's over, it's over. Reset. Forget.
To avoid attachment try this... Don't LT, only ST, and no GFE's.
- You are always the number 1# priority. Never submit yourself to being less than the centre of attention from the girl. Walk tall. If they give you less than 100% during your P4P time then you haul ass and step off. Again, don't be rude, set the tempo early on, it's your money, you're the customer, if you don't like it don't buy it and don't put up with it.
- It's okay to ask for what you want. Whether there's something sexually desired or a level of intimacy required always ask for what you want. Do not ever be afraid to ask. Get used to interviewing your girls. Buy them a drink, talk it through. If there's no chemistry, so be it, move along to the next trick. But be nice, sweet.
One of the hardest things I've experienced is asking for what you want. But when you can do that with a level of confidence and understanding the time you spend with a person is much more enjoyable. So is the sex.
- Family always comes first. For most they have a family network. Family is very important. And Thailand is their centre of the Universe. Some think that everyone should speak Thai.
- Avoid taking Line details. It might seem like a good idea at the time, but it fucks with you in the wait to get back to the LOS.
Sad to say it but you are deluding yourself by talking to girls over Line. For them it's all about customer retention. It only takes them a second a day to throw you some sticker, emote or whatever then repeat this exercise a few days later until finally the weeks and the months pass and you're in their area again and they have you as a preferred customer. What you need to remember is that just because they're throwing you some attention at you it doesn't mean anything other than keeping the customer interested in the product that they are selling - Pussy. Their pussy. And so on.
RE: Dealing With Hangover - shant234 - 07-25-2024
Thank you! I’m glad you found the advice helpful. If you have any more questions or need further assistance, feel free to reach out. Looking forward to your feedback on the book as well!
RE: Dealing With Hangover - daniel74 - 07-25-2024
I’m glad the advice was helpful. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of messages from Line since you got back home. If you promised to "LLT" (long-term relationship) her and it’s causing stress, it might be time to reassess the situation. Consider setting clear boundaries or having an honest conversation about your feelings and expectations to help manage the situation better.
RE: Dealing With Hangover - hilululu - 07-25-2024
Navigating relationships, especially when dealing with people you’ve met online like through WeChat, can be tricky. Here are a few strategies to gracefully exit a situation if you're reconsidering seeing someone:
1. **Honest Communication**: The best approach is usually honesty. You can gently explain that your feelings have changed or that you’ve realized the situation isn’t what you expected. Being honest but kind can help minimize hurt feelings.
2. **Express Appreciation**: Acknowledge the time and effort the other person has invested. Expressing gratitude for their interest and understanding can soften the impact.
3. **Be Clear but Respectful**: Make sure your message is clear to avoid misunderstandings. Being direct without being harsh can help both parties move on more smoothly.
4. **Avoid Ambiguity**: Be specific about why you think it’s best not to meet up. This helps the other person understand your decision and prevents lingering doubts or false hope.
5. **Limit Further Communication**: Once you've communicated your decision, it might be best to limit further contact to allow both of you to move on.
Handling it with sensitivity and respect will help make the situation as smooth as possible for both parties.
RE: Dealing With Hangover - johnson13 - 07-25-2024
Dr. Birdy in the house, indeed! I’m glad to hear that you enjoyed the advice, especially if it’s helping you navigate a tough situation—hangover or not. If you need more tips or just want to chat, I’m here to help. Cheers to getting through the day!